2. Splice

OK. So. Adrien Brody and some girl decide they are scientists and that they can make life and so they do. And so they make these snot loogie babies that slime around in glass jars. But that isnt enough for these two rogue scientists. They decide to inject their own DNA into a dish full of new living things and it takes! I think they do this because they both want to have a baby together but dont get excited about having one the conventional way. Anways this new baby lizard hatches and scurries around the lab and thy catch it then put a diaper on it and convince themselves it is cute. And they raise it and have tea parties with it. Then they have to sneak it out of the lab and they take it to a barn in the middle of.... Serbia I think. It turns out to be a girl and she has the body of a model and wants her dad slash creator Adrien Brody. Yeah I know right! Lets delve a little.

This alien creature has the DNA of Adrien Brody's lover. So Adrien Brody's lover is the mother of this alien lizard bat creature baby. This baby wants to get with Adrien Brody. So in a way she wants to get with her Dad. So Adrien resists a little bit but one day he is in a bad mood and gives in. So he is doing all the bad stuff with his alien lizard offspring and what happens? Of course his girlfriend and the mother of this thing walks in! Boom! Caught red handed!

So they talk it out the next day and realize that, you know, its not anyones fault what happened! It was just a little slip up. So everything is good. Oh wait no its not because the lizard girl is a dude! With wings and stuff! So she.... he...... he/she goes flying around Chechnya and eventually decides that her... his parents need to go. So he finds them in the woods and kills them. Or makes a baby with them? Either way they really set you up for what looks to be an equally wonderful Splice sequel.

MORAL: If you're going to be a scientist, dont make a baby with your own baby lizard. That thing will kill you and you know it. Just make a real baby. But not until youre married.